Procrastinate: To be slow or late about doing something that should be done: to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, because you are lazy, etc.
Procrastinate could be my middle name. Or at least it could have been in 2014! I intended to start my matchmaking/ dating/ relationship blog months (years?) ago. But, for one reason or another—I was busy, I didn’t know how to blog, I was afraid no one would read it, etc. — I just didn’t make blogging a priority. Unfortunately it fell into the “shoulda, coulda, woulda “ category along with many other things (cleaning the pantry, contacting old friends, washing my car, learning how to salsa… the list goes on and on).
Well, it’s now 2016—and I’m about three months into my official year of anti-procrastination. And here is my first blog post! I’m super-excited that I’ll be able to share some fun tips for anyone hoping to add love to their life. But before I can move forward, I think it might be smart to take a quick peek at the past and consider the lessons learned. I can summarize them in just a few points:
Keep the faith: In early 2014, I took a huge leap of faith and finally launched my matchmaking service, A+ Introductions, LLC. (Gulp!) It was something I had dreamed of, talked about and planned for several years. Naturally it caused a range of feelings… from anxiety to doubt to exhilaration. It was scary (gasp…what if I failed?) but through it all, there was always a small quiet voice that encouraged me to keep pressing on to make my vision a reality. I am pleased that so far, the business is going well. To my surprise, I found that starting a business has been as challenging and as rewarding as starting a relationship. I’ve decided to pass the lessons learned from this experience along to others. As I meet with perspective clients, I often find they are worried about how quickly they will meet someone. Their goal of meeting some RIGHT NOW is completely understandable. To help my clients recognize the importance of persistence and faith in the matchmaking process, I emphasize the benefits of patience and hope. Whether clients are in church every time the doors swing open or don’t practice any form of traditional religion, embracing faith provides a much-needed boost of optimism as we embark on the journey of finding a match. And having an “All things are possible” confidence is always an attractive quality.
Keep it moving: As my life has become increasingly busier, I’ve had to make difficult decisions regarding the people (family members, “friends”, romantic prospects, etc.) that I’ve chosen to keep in my inner circle. After some soul searching and an honest assessment of my relationships, I realized that some people were no longer able to maintain the connections we once shared. As disheartening as that experience was it also came with an important lesson. Life can be challenging and things don’t always go as planned. This is especially true in our personal relationships. We’ve all been there at some point. But, either you can sit back and dwell on all that went wrong in your life or you can accept it for what it is and make the decision to move ahead. So, he never called you like he said he would? She turned out to be a gold digger that only liked you until someone with a bigger car drove by? Big fat hairy deal! It may seem harsh but time is too precious to waste it worrying about things you can’t change. So the lesson learned is a valuable one: If the train doesn’t stop at your station, it wasn’t your train. The good news is there’s another train coming soon.
Keep it simple: As a matchmaker, I am often asked by my clients and those curious about the industry why some people can’t find a mate on their own. After years of searching for the right person, some people become discouraged about their odds for finding love and people even think they are not worthy of love. They are sometimes so focused on searching for the key to success that they overanalyze every effort they have made to find a mate. To help put it in perspective, I ask my clients to do this simple visualization: Imagine you’ve been single for what seems like an eternity. And one day, while you’re out at the supermarket, you meet Mr./Ms. Wonderful. You smile, lock eyes and engage in some small talk. Fast forward six months and you’re in the great, healthy, fulfilling relationship you’ve always wanted. Okay, that might be just magical thinking. But… is it possible it really could be that simple? The path to finding love can be easy and drama-free. When you have done the things you know you should be doing to attract the right person into your life (figured out what you want in a mate, presented yourself at your personal best, handled your “baggage”, made yourself physically and emotionally available, etc.), it suddenly all becomes so simple. So perhaps the lesson you are meant to learn has nothing to do with what you were doing wrong or where the key to success was hidden. Maybe you didn’t need the fake lashes or the shiny new car to attract the person you were meant to meet. Maybe you needed to concentrate on just being you. Maybe it’s just that simple!
So…. there it is. My first official blog post is complete! All that procrastination is over and done. And although I might never be receive the World’s Greatest Blogger award, at least, it won’t be another item on this year’s shoulda ,coulda ,woulda list.
Please stay tuned for more fun, inspiring and thought-provoking posts about adding love to your life. And please share this experience with your friends! For more information about my matchmaking service, please visit my website: www.aplusintroductions.com .
Thanks for reading!